Love will Lead Us

"You can not say one day that you have not heard, that I did not tell you!" my voice broke as I desperately shared with him. Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I hopelessly stood there with my heart aching. How I love him, how I have prayed for him for salvation for years and hoping to pray for him for healing for his very sick body.

On our way home in the car I was sitting with tears rolling out under my sunglasses over my cheeks. "Mommy imagine how sad Jesus must feel right now if you heart is this sad for him." my daughter remarked.

This is the most extreme example of me ever. Being a Christian, preaching and living the Good News of the Gospel. If this was the only example you would ever hear about me it would put me in a total different light from who I am. I have been a Christian almost all my life, gave my heart to the Lord when I was six years old at a puppet show at our church. I have grown up in the church but have never personally lead someone to Jesus. I live the Gospel serving in hospitality, encouragement, prayer etc. But evangelism in preaching and leading someone to Jesus was a gift I have not boldly used. I would rather set the scene and let someone do the practical evangelism leading to the Lord part.

The last few weeks there has been an urgency in my heart, a desperation to share the truth of the gospel with my relatives, friends and people that God put on my heart. A few events and incidents have influenced this desire awakening.

I have heard a story that a man has gone to heaven and was waiting to enter at the Pearly Gates. Jesus was standing there and asking everyone the same question when they came to the front of the line. "Have you learned to love?" This story has been through my mind a hundred times if not more since then. "Have I learned to love?" I am asking myself.

Our family are on furlough for a few months in our home country and I again have read the book: Heaven is Real. The reality of heaven and asking myself the question: "Am I ready to die and will I go to heaven?" and "Who do I know and love that does not know Jesus, that have never heard the message of the Good News of Jesus?"

I believe it was Love that brought Jesus to earth, Love that kept him here and then dying on the cross. In my heart I have asked the Lord to fill me with love for these people that He wants me to share with. It does not come easy. I struggle with fear of rejection and just plain an awkward feeling of: "What am I doing, or who do I think I am or even what will I say?"

The vision of my relatives, friends and neighbors going into eternity lost while I had the answer, the opportunity and Good News of Jesus just is heart breaking. I trust as God leads me forth in this wonderful awakening of my calling to share His word that He will fill me with courage, faith and wisdom. That I will not step back in fear...but that Love for Him will lead me forth to sharing the Good News of Jesus.