CELEBRATING LIFE'S JOURNEY......
It is middle autumn here in the Aegean; I have been wearing winter clothes for the last few weeks. Most of the trees in my garden have lost their leaves not even thinking of them having flowers. And here in the middle of a patch of grass the kumquat trees stands in full bloom with blossoms and bees buzzing for its nectar....Just this morning as I was hitting the dusty doormat against its stem and seeing the tiny white petals falling on the grass...I could not help but feel sorry for this tree being so out of season... But I know next year Spring it will have blossoms again and bear its fruit in Summer. Something about this tree and its SITUATION made me think of myself....
About fourteen years ago a lady shared a similar story with me. It was a picture she had in her heart about me. She saw me fully dressed in ski gear equipment, ready to ski the snowy slopes of high mountains. But I was walking in a dry barren, hot land over rocks sweating and falling. I was so out of place and season....struggling....
I was born the youngest of four children. I have always felt loved and wanted by my parents. They have given me the best they could. But as in all families and life, things sometimes do not work out as we have planned or hope for. Our family had our share of life circumstances and disappointments as I was growing up. These situations and circumstances do shape our hearts and the terrain of our souls. All along God had me in the palm of His hand. He has hand picked my family, have allowed every circumstance and situation in my life to shape me.....to form me to be Karin..... As hard as it is sometimes to understand some people and life... I know and believe He uses it all to form us according to His plan. I had to look back over my life and say..THANK YOU... Thank you Lord for my family for all that has come my way.......
Oh and then there are those regrets...But I know He has gently worked that out and brought life out of death, shining His light of forgiveness deep into my heart.....Looking at the familiar picture of the TAPESTRY with Him being the artist weaving every thread with such skill. The back of this tapestry looks quite sad and mixed up...but the front has the true picture of beauty....where He has brought all these happenings together into a beautiful picture....A beautiful TAPESTRY OF LIFE...
I have often heard people commenting on growing older. That all perfections fall away and you come to peace with who you really are. When exactly this happens I believe nobody really knows...but it is an inner peace that comes with an acceptance of who we really are. A unity in the heart, understanding and acceptance of the past...and a peace about the future. I have often struggled with the question of what my place is in life, my role the legacy I will leave behind???? As a mother and wife I have often answered this question with just being that. My role and function is that! But the truth is that I sometimes have to remind myself, this is not all there is to my role and function and who I am ....... ....This is my season my biggest role for now....my time and place to be a mother and wife and live my life to the full...But I know there is more in the next season of my life....
Remember He is the Master Weaver, the Artist behind the tapestry of our lives....Coming back to the picture of me being dressed to ski the snowy slopes and struggling among the dry barren rocks. This has often been the feeling of my heart. I can only be who I am....And I had to answer the question, then who am I? What are my giftings, what do I have that I can pour out generously? Taking this and celebrating this too; living them out. Being me to the fullness. Walking in faith and trusting God that as He has shaped my past, He will form my future. Finishing the tapestry of my life to His delight and glory.
I have often wondered about the picture of me being the skier in the dry rocky hills... But what I have not told you yet was the second part of this dear woman's heartfelt picture. She then did see me in my full ski wear; skiing the snowy slopes high on the mountain peaks in my full element with skill and joy. This picture brings such excitement, I am yearning and hoping for this too. Often I find myself in seasons where I do not feel the fullness a release of content and joy, and then at times in my life I have felt short lived pockets of being there in my fullness with the wind in my hair and the snowy slopes under my skis, skillfully moving along....
But I know if it was not for my seasons struggling in the rocky dry hills I would not have enjoyed and celebrated being on the snowy slopes in my fullness. Resting in the arms of the Master allowing Him to form and shape my circumstances and life. Without the one or the other my life would have been incomplete. I want to have peace about my past living fully for now...hoping in Him to shape my future according to His will....
It is about living to the full....bringing Him glory and honor...that is the JOY of celebrating being ME.....
