"What on earth could lead a person at the right state of mind to a place like the edge of the Red Sea?" Not so much about the specific place physically as much as it is the emotional part of being there and the whole event... playing itself out! Like the story of Moses and the Israelites in the Bible with the Egyptians behind them and the sea in front of them. I'm talking about the "place"...when all else falls away and becomes insignificant...when He becomes everything that matters! When death stands there with it's black robe smiling....ready to take it all! Why would I want to face that? Even come to such a place and situation in my life?
Can a God that created me, formed me in my mother's womb with such love and affection bring me in love to such a point as the edge of the Red Sea? When all else are forced away and cut from my heart....When all that matters to me faints away...How can He delight in these moments in my life? Does He not lead me lovingly and tenderly to the edge of the sea....even showing me the way...knowing what is to come....Does He not sustain me there...as I wait in distress? Does he then not speak words of love and encouragement in my darkest hour? Does he not look deep into my soul and bring me comfort there....Is it not a moment when our hearts are tested like pure gold in the furnace burning wildly. Is it not most painful and wonderful at the same time....when we see our hearts for what it really is....what it really loves, believes and trusts....
That moment of looking back at the Egyptians coming and the anguish of facing the sea before me...But did I miss seeing the column of fire keeping me warm by night and the cloud leading me in the day? You are there with me Lord, you led me out of my Egypt you shared your hopes and dreams with me...much higher and more exalted than what I can see or conceive. I'm holding onto your words and promises...really hoping that these words and promises are real and not just what I wanted and hoped for. That it is your words of life and truth! Lord standing at the edge of the Red Sea I need those promises to bring hope, helping me not to look at the Egyptians coming but make a choice in faith to take my stand here at the edge of the sea. I need to know that you are here Lord. I'm recalling your faithfulness even to the edge.. with my feet in the water.....
Can I even come to a moment and conceive... knowing that if you.. do not not part the Red Sea...that I will not cast my heart there and draw my soul away!...But that I will make a choice and hope in you desperately.. calling on you....If not Lord and my soul and heart lay slaughtered at the edge of the Sea....can I then again pick myself up and look to You? Can I then in my disappointment, weakness and pain make peace with You? I know You are my God, there is no other like You! Even though I do not always understand...I know it is a choice I need to make then....it will come I know the choice will be eventually You again....In the darkness of my darkest hour I know Your grace is there and will lead me to You. I know that You will be my strength, hope and God then....
Oh Lord and if you do part the Sea.....will I be surprise? Will I be totally shocked and in awe? Will I be on my knees or will I fall on my face in worship? You are God! You are God! I know you will lead me thru the Red Sea on dry ground....being my companion my God.....as you said You will be....
My heart and desires can be deceiving...but You are steadfast! You are a strong tall pillar in the storm not wavering or swaying in the strength of the wind....but a light in my darkest hour....
