Cross Cultural Hospitality has a Heart

“Cross Cultural Hospitality is an Adventure!” my friend boldly commented. Real memories of myself in the kitchen with dishtowels catching fire as I nervously tried to make the perfect cup of Turkish tea or unexpectedly falling over the tortoise that snuck in our front door, flashed through my mind. These are the kinds of incidents that add to the fun of trying to do hospitality in a different culture! Yes it is an adventure clothed in a cloak of love with many textures, a heart always ready to accept and hands ready to serve.

One hectic morning while home schooling my two girls, two traditional Muslim grandmothers knocked on the wooden gate of our home in Central Asia. They wanted to come and pray in our home as a close relative of theirs had died there a few years ago. If a face could tell a story it was mine at that moment. My husband and I invited them in and as I began putting the tea on and setting the table with the traditional nuts, fruit and cookies, "well, they will probably stay for lunch too!" I thought. Sitting down after politely, traditionally pouring the green tea in Chinese round cups I studied their somber sad faces. “I have a plan for them being here today Karin,” I felt the Lord speak to my distracted heart. I repented and set myself out to be a vessel of what God wanted to do. They left that day with smiles, a Bible and as they walked off I noticed a spring in their step.

Yes, I do not always feel like being hospitable. Making yet again another cup of tea or coffee hoping that today will be the day our dear guest's heart might be receptive to the message of the Gospel. I have often had to change my expectations and perspective on what my hospitality should look like and be open to the fact that my guests might struggle with the way I would naturally do things. One time we had a family over for a meal while we were living in a remote setting and after much effort I came up with pizza for supper. Our guest, unimpressed, looked at me over the low set table and said politely, "we do not eat cooked tomatoes”.

LOVE AND RESPECT

In every culture the art of hospitality looks different but the heart of this wonderful gift comes from the same source: love and respect. Through trial and error and learning more of the culture I live in, hospitality has become easier. It seems overwhelming at times not understanding my guests, but I keep telling myself: “Relax you can only give what you have, be yourself and He will give you the grace!” Being myself was the most important lesson I have learned in extending hospitality cross-culturally. I will never whip up food with the grace of Nigella, Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart but I can be myself and generously give what I have with love, joy, delight and a willingness to be an instrument of love for Him.

A FEW POINTERS:

Living and working cross culturally can be very confusing, demanding and tiring but I have discovered that there are a few things I can do to help myself be more prepared.

-My neighbor will most likely not want to come for tea again if my home is in a state with dirty carpets, the days dishes stacked in the sink a mountain high, and the feeling that the house has not been cleaned for a while.

-I have never received a “dry” cup of tea in the cultures where we have lived. There has always been something served with the tea. At times in our home it has even been nuts and raisins, a packet of cookies whipped out with a smile, or in a pinch, a chocolate bar broken into a cute little bowl or something from the basket I keep up in the cupboard for hospitality emergencies.

-Trying to understand what good hospitality involves in the culture and adapting to their ways, helps me to create an atmosphere where my guest feels comfortable, accepted and able to be themselves in my home. Even if I don't do everything perfectly, if they sense my heart is open and I am seeking to build friendship with them, they graciously overlook my mistakes.

-I know that I will never be fully able to host the way someone born in the culture can naturally, but out of respect for my guest, I will serve the coffee in a manner I know that will bless them. It is all about the experience. A dear guest might not remember my great plate of lasagne (sad but true ;) but I believe they will forever remember how our family made them feel.

In this great adventure, I believe there are very few wrongs and rights, but a willing heart and an open door and home have won many hearts towards Jesus. He is the one that uses hospitality as one of the most powerful instruments in ministering Cross Culturally. Through a cup of green tea, a glass of water, or a cup of coffee served with love despite language barriers and cultural differences, many hearts have been touched ,softened and won to Him.
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