GOD ARE YOU HERE NOW?

"Andrew fell of the top bunk bed....he is bleeding!" our little friends daughter big eyed and worried came to call us just as we ended our team meeting with prayer. My husband rushed up the stairs. I waited at the foot of the stairs thinking it might be a little bump, but also knowing that he fell onto a hard marble floor. Blood was gushing out of a deep cut just under his lip onto his already blood stained T shirt. "Oh no God, my beautiful little boy, please don't let him die!" my heart cried out.

"Go get the car we need to take him to a hospital!" I shocked but calm told my husband. It was raining outside and we were heading into late afternoon traffic. I sat in the back seat of our car cuddling with my sweet three year old boy. His eyes were big as large tears rolled over his cheeks. I kept pressing the paper towel bundles against the open bleeding wound and almost unwillingly repeated the words over and over again: "It is OK, you are OK, don't cry, Jesus will help you."

"Please open a window, I need some air." I asked my husband. "The window is stuck, it is wide open and would not budge." my husband frustratingly told me. "If rushing to the hospital was not enough, now this too." I thought. As trucks passed us on the highway water sprayed into the car. "Go faster honey." I urged my husband on. "Oh God please help us, protect our little boy from other implications of this fall." my husband prayed out loud. The reality of this situation hit me full on, I felt so lame in the legs and just sat unemotionally wiping of the tears mixed with dirty rain water streaming down my cheeks.

As I stare at my sweet child and I noticed the big bruising on the side of his face, his nose was swollen and it seemed that the cut under his lip was right through. How could I have just let him play on his own with the other kids? Was I being a responsible parent doing that? Why did I not went to look what they were doing? No look what has happened! My shocked mind started playing theater. The kids said that he was standing up on the top bunk bed and fell right forward onto the thin rug that covered the hard marble floor. He could have broken his neck.

"Go, go into the hospital I will park the car and come!" my husband urged me on. "You can not leave the car with the window like this, people will steal it." I shouted as I was rushing out of the car.

The young doctor seemed confident that he could stitch up the wound. "Oh I hope he really knows what he is doing." I thought. Holding him down and encouraging my little boy to lay still and open his mouth, was almost an impossible state at this moment. The twelve stitches took for ever and I just closed my eyes at every penetrating stitch. I felt sick to my stomach. "Thank you God for a hospital, a doctor, a car to get here and friends praying for us" I prayed thankfully in my heart.

We chose to sit in the foyer of the hospital for a few moments recovering. He was still shocked, quiet and wanted me to cup my hand under his aching chin.

I relieved got into the car and was wondering what we will do with the open window as it was still raining. "Oh the car's battery is flat, the little starting light does not even come on." my husband tiered but frustrated noticed. "Oh, what will we do now?" I thought out loud.

The doctor stood at the door of the hospital to wave us off now walked up to the broken window and asked my husband what was wrong. Amazingly the doctor kindly started ordering people standing around to fix the window up and get some jump starters for the battery.

I sat hopeless in the back of the car with my little boy tightly hugged in my arms praying for hope and strength, too tiered and emotional to be of any more help.

These words gently formed in the mind of my heart, like rain in the dry desolate dessert: "See all is fine, I'm here caring for you...." Hearing these words I rested my head back onto the headrest of the seat and let my body, mind and soul just sink and drink and bath in the hope, warmth, comfort and care of these words.

Yes, as always you are....caring for me. Thank you God that you are always there.. even in the midst of despair....pain, hopelessness. You are my light and my salvation.